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15 May 2009

History of the Bikini

REPORTER: What do you think of this one?

MAN 1: It's alright on the top, but the bottom is very rude.

OLD WOMAN: Oh well, God made them and he made them naked and we're going out naked so I can't see anything the matter with taking all your clothes off.

REPORTER: Would you wear one of those?

OLD WOMAN 2: Yes, very nice.

OLD WOMAN 3: They're beautiful, but I think we should leave a little bit for the men's imagination.

OLD WOMAN: I think it's a bit loose, you know.

REPORTER: Would you let your own daughters wear this?

MAN 2: Well it's problematical (embarrassed mumble).


WOMAN 1: People basically if they're beautiful, they should be proud enough to show themselves and...

INTERVIEWER: Yeah but, you know, the conventional view of women is of a modest, reticent creature and you know this is not that is it?.

WOMAN 1: I feel that the more they get off, the more dominant they're becoming, you know, and the..., sort of, they've been down there too long and get up and you know get with the fellas - they'll wear what they want if they, and this is a sort of a sign of their emancipation and their freedom.

REPORTER: To really wear the string, you need a stringy, skinny figure, which isn't a comfort to those that go down to the beach with bulges, but the man who string the string together here are smiling at their sales.

Well I mean look at it, isn't it ridiculous. One hefty cough in that and you'd have the beach inspector of city beach rushing after you to get you for obscenity. I mean no way can that kind of thing cover the most delicate parts of a lady's body. Now gentleman seriously, you're not expecting the ladies of Australia to go out with that little flimsy thing on their top half and this thing on their bottom half.

STRINGER: Well they are are buying them and it seems that they're selling very well.

REPORTER: But, I mean, they don't fit the normal human being surely do they? I mean nobody is shaped that way are they?

STRINGER: Well they do seem to fit and they look very nice on.


MAN 3: I reckon they're the greatest invention since the world to be frank with you.

MAN 4: I think they're really crash hot.

INTERVIEWER: What do you think of these new bikinis?

MAN 5: Oh, she's beautiful... and bikinis too.